76 Rants - Colin Katz












76 Rants
Colin Katz


Author's Note: Due to the chaotic nature of this rant, it lends itself quite well to ad-libbing if it ever is performed. It is suggested that the performer not learn the rant completely and add in his/her own quirks to the rant.



You want a rant? I'll give you a rant. Here's a rant for you. I love giving rants to you. Cause you asked for it. That's right. You wanted this rant. You asked for this rant. And you got this rant. There's no going back now, the rant has taken control. The rant is now in control, it controls the
h o r i z o n t a l .
It controls the

v
e
r
t
i
c
a
l
.

The rant will take you places that you have never imagined. The rant is now a life of it's own. Are you afraid of the rant? Well, you asked for the rant. You wanted this rant. You asked for this rant. And you got this rant. You can't take a rant back once it's started. There is no possible way that you could ever imagine a rant being such a rant such as this rant. Rant. Rant. Rant. Welcome to the rant. Enter the rant. This is a rant to begin all rants. You thought I was going to say end all rants now didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?! I know you did, that's part of this rant, the rant knows what you are thinking. The rant is in control. Now we shall rant for you. Do you know what a rant is? This is a rant. This is a rant about a rant. About itself really. A rant that is. Do you remember my rant? Wrong answer. You cannot remember a rant that has not yet finished. This rant is not over. This rant will continue on. And will you remember this rant then? If you do, take the rant's advice and write a rant. I would say take my advice, but the rant is in control. It tells me what to do. It knows all. It is an all knowing rant. Don't you like this rant? I like this rant. The rant told me to say that. The rant likes itself. You like this rant. The rant told you that you like it. Therefore you like it. The rant has deemed it so. This rant is unlike other rants. It does not have something to hold it down. This rant is free. Free rants are here. This is a rant. This is not my rant, this rant belongs to the rant. It is self-owned. It is self-written. This is the rant speaking. The rant doesn't like people who don't believe in rants. The rant will consume you. The rant is in control. The rant will DOMINATE over you. It dominates over other rants. This rant is an originator. This rant is in control. The rant will not be televised. The rant is now digitized. The rant is now in your head. The rant is now in your soul. The rant is now you. Here endeth the rant.



Colin Katz can be contacted at kats6@hotmail.com